1、上班最開心的事，就是老板不在。

Work is the most happy thing, that the boss is not in.

2、我的青春，獻給了那個叫做義務教育的。

My youth, dedicated to the called compulsory education.

3、天若有情天亦老，動我姐妹全撂倒。

Heaven can be overturned, my sisters all.

4、一代天驕，成吉思汗，只識彎弓射大雕。

Genghis Khan, Gen Gi Khan, only know the Thai Wangong radio.

5、我愛的不是你，是你爸的銀行賬戶。

I love is not you, is your father's Bank account.

6、每個月，總有那么幾天不想上班。

Every month, there are always a few days do not want to go to work.

7、別讓我看不上你，拿你的本事讓我愛上你。

Don't let me see you, take your ability to let me fall in love with you.

8、高調最虛偽，低調才是最牛B的炫耀。

The most hypocritical high-profile, low-key is the most cattle B show off.

9、跟自己說聲，對不起，這些年一直沒學會愛自己。

With their own voice, I'm sorry, these years have not learned to love yourself.

10、當我們失去的時候，才知道自己曾經擁有。

When we lose, just know that he used to have.

11、談戀愛跟叫小姐一樣，只不過戀愛是分期付款。

Fall in love with miss the same, but love is installment.

12、我問我同事你在那上學呢？他說在，電大。

I asked my colleague you in that school? He said that in.

13、你完整了我的人生，但我卻只是你人生中的一章節。

You've made my life complete, but I'm just one chapter in your life.

14、當幸福來敲門的時候，我或許不在家。

When happiness knocks at the door, I may not be at home.

15、以人類的體型，豬的性活著。

In the human body, the living habits of pigs.

16、跑車，洋房，可以有，自己買。

Sports car, villa, you can have, buy their own.

17、看著你有個人皮的臉，誰知道卻藏了顆禽獸的心。

Look at you have a face, who knows but hide the heart of a beast.

18、惹我光頭強，揍你沒商量。

Make me bald, hit you not to discuss.

19、他們的信心是我給的，你們有什么問題嗎？

Their confidence is what I give, you have any questions?

20、不求與人相比，但求超越自己。

Don't compare with others, but to go beyond their own.

21、別上姐的床，姐會把你踢下床。

Don't go to my sister's bed, and I'll kick you out of bed.

22、不想變形的剛，不是好鋼。

Do not want to deformation of the gang, not a good steel.

23、不要讓今天的無知，變成昨天的后悔。

Do not let today's ignorance, become yesterday's regret.

24、我不要你的忽冷忽熱，因為這樣我會感冒的。

I don't want you sometimes hot and sometimes cold because I will catch a cold.

25、當善良的人撕下面具時，你連跪下的機會都沒有。

When good people tear off the mask, you don't even have the chance to kneel.

26、我人緣好，耶穌罩我，上帝保我。

I am good, Jesus cover me, my god.

27、自己選的路，跪著也要走完。

His choice of road, kneeling also to go.

28、我給了你權利愛我，但我沒給你權利放棄愛我。

I gave you the right to love me, but I didn't give you the right to give up love me.

29、我要變成仙人掌，刺死所有傷害我的人。

I want to become a cactus, stabbed to death all the people who hurt me.

30、別看姐不美，姐照樣把你耍的找不著北。

Do not see the elder sister is not beautiful, the elder sister still can not play you to find the north.

31、我活了十八歲，愧對先烈十八年。

I lived for eighteen years, eighteen years unworthy of revolutionary martyrs.

32、這幾年我過的如此悲哀，什么都沒換來。

In recent years I have been so sad, nothing in exchange for.

33、看我不順眼的人我很高興能堵住你的心。

I don't like people I am very happy to stop your heart.

34、既然姐來到了這個世上，就沒打算想活著回去。

Since the elder sister came to this world, it is not going to want to go back.

35、思念，是一個人的兵荒馬亂。

Miss, is a man of war.

36、不要三角戀的劇情，我恨透了那些。

Don't love triangle story, I hate those.

37、得到了站起來，換個好看的姿勢在到下去。

Get up stand up, change a good position to go down.

38、去去去，別糟蹋青春那兩字了，你都已經立秋了。

Go go go, don't spoil the word youth, you are already the beginning of autumn.

39、人生總要有過一次勇敢，帶著理想一起去私奔。

The life must have a brave, with the ideal elope.

40、時間不是讓人忘了痛，而是讓人慣了痛。

Time is not to let people forget the pain, but people get used to the pain.

41、新世界男生，錢給老婆，幸福甜蜜都給老婆。

New world boys, money to the wife, happy sweet to his wife.

42、如果你要考驗我的耐心，請先把你的耐心準備好。

If you want to test my patience, please Ppare your patience.

43、老媽說老婆賢惠，我看是閑得什么都不會！

My mom said I was a good wife and see what are not idle!

44、夏天中午炎熱的太陽，出去玩的都是抗日英雄。

At noon in the summer, the hot sun, go out to play is the Anti Japanese hero.

45、有男不泡，大逆不道；見男就泡，替天行道。

A man does not see the male bubble, bubble, treason and heresy; justice.

46、回憶終究只是回憶，只是回不去的記憶。

Memories are just memories, but memories can not go back.

47、我把最完美的年華，獻給了義務教育。

I put the most perfect time, dedicated to the compulsory education.

48、如果你愛的人不愛你，也請記得：愛由心生。

If you love people who do not love you, please remember: love from the heart.

49、天天看穿越小說，看的馬桶都像穿越的洞。

Every day to see through the novel, to see the toilet like through the hole.

50、辦事本來有路子，但是走的人多了，給堵死了。

Act had the road, but many people walk, blocked.

51、有些朋友，曾經無話不說，現在無話可說。

Some friends have no words, now have nothing to say.

52、帶我到強大的那一天，我必定先毀了你的天下。

Take me to the strong day, I will destroy your world.

53、你要玩我感情，那就先看看自己的臉皮。

You want to play with my feelings, then take a look at your face.

54、我跟伍佰不熟，他弟弟二百五跟我很熟。

I'm not familiar with Wu Bai, his brother was familiar with me two hundred and fifty.

55、一劍一簫生意，不負狂名十五年。

Xiao sword flat business, not fifteen years.

56、不要吹牛逼，你不知道你能吹破天。

Don't brag, you don't know you can blow the sky.

57、我是個堅強的人，彪悍的從來不需要誰擔心。

I was a strong person, never need to worry about who is tough.

58、我怪自己太聰明，不該知道的都懂了。

I blame myself too smart, do not know the know.

59、媳婦都漲了，工資你怎能好意思不漲呢。

Wife wages have gone up, how can you side up.

60、人生苦短必須性感，彪悍的人生是不需要解釋的。

Life is too short to be sexy, tough life is no need to explain.

61、他若愛你，不必討好。他若不愛，更加不必。

If he loves you, you don't have to please him. If he does not love, more do not have to.

62、天空黑暗到一定程度，星辰就會熠熠生輝。

The dark sky to a certain extent, the stars will shine.

63、我和暑假分手了，因為開學那賤人！

My summer vacation and broke up, because the school Bitch!

64、如果說美貌是推薦信，那么善良就是信用卡！

If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then the good is a credit card!

65、有些緣分在開始的一瞬間就結束了，就像早泄。

Some fate in the beginning of the moment is over, just like Pmature ejaculation.

66、愛情是什么，愛情不是色戒就是鉆戒。

What is love, love is not lust is a diamond ring.

67、有些人不需要姿態，也能成就一場驚鴻。

Some people don't need posture, can accomplish a fleeting.

68、忘=亡+心。要讓我忘記，除非心死了。

Forget = death + heart. Let me forget, unless the heart is dead.

69、我現在才知道，鉛筆不止是b還有你。

I know now that the pencil is more than B and you.

70、因為我是金口玉牙，所以輕易不開口說話。

Because I was a valuable advice, so do not speak.

71、狡猾和聰明的差距是在道德上，不是在智力上。

The gap between cunning and cleverness is moral, not intellectual.

72、你的眼里有個我，我的眼里有個豬。

There's a me in your eyes, I have a pig in my eyes.

73、原來，友情也有新歡和舊愛。

Originally, the friendship also has new and old love.

74、失戀算什么，中國什么都缺，就是不缺人。

What is lost in love, China is lack of anything, that is, no shortage of people.

75、男人拽，照樣甩，一樣在我黑名單搖擺。

Men pull, still dumped, as in my black list swing.

76、我想重新認識你，從你叫什么名字開始。

I want to know you again, from your name.

77、愛情上，有些人寧愿疼死，也不愿意放開。

In love, some people Pfer to die, and do not want to let go.

78、我的聰明你看到了嗎？哎，你還真是個傻瓜。

My smart you see it? Hey, you're a fool.

79、我要把你放在一邊晾干，然后在收回來。

I'm going to put you on one side to dry, and then I'll get it back.

80、原諒你是上帝的事，我的任務就是送你去見上帝。

To forgive you is God's work, my task is to send you to God.